Thursday, March 12, 2009

OK, if not US Attorney, how about county court at law judge?



Still no word on the U.S. Attorney's office or the President's intentions along that line, so I remain unemployed. Perhaps my terms were too severe. Maybe we could put the office in Raymondville? Surely, Mr. President you do not expect me to go as far north Corpus Christi? At any rate, please do not feel rushed, my options are quite limited. One possibility, though is a race for county court at law.


The county court at law judgeship being vacated by Judge Robles and to which Judge Murray was appointed is of course in play. It appears the commissioners may have wanted a hot race, so I have to consider my obligation to help out.


The odds of me winning a race are negligible which is the only reason I would consider running. But to be fair, I better go ahead and let the voters know my requirements.


First, I'm not sure about this title, "Judge." Everybody from past and present who has ever been a city judge or a justice of the peace or U.S. Supreme Court Justice ends up being called "judge." I went to lunch recently and looked around the room and realized only the young woman serving the fideo and I could not claim to to be "Judge." Also, I would be unwilling to be called "Judge" for fear of the ultimate encounter with Someone who has the power to judge the quick and the dead.


I do call people by their titles, "Judge," "Father," "Doctor," especially when, in the pressure of the moment, I can't remember their names.


So for my title? "Your excellency," maybe. "Grand potentate?" After I saw a Robin Williams movie once, I tried to get the kids to call me, "O Captain, my Captain," but nobody would go along.


Now, how about clothes? Black robes never did much for me, except for prospect of being to wear pajamas underneath. On the other hand a powdered wig may be fun if the airconditioning is good enough.


Now to the practical part, I get stuck on the Mathew 7:1 stuff. So I really couldn't pass judgment on anyone. This means all those guys with the orange uniforms would likely get to go home. Besides, at the county court at law level, where everyone is accused of a misdemeanor, it is pretty hard to take many of those crimes seriously. Hot checks, DWI, possession of marihuana, prostitution, gambling, that sort of thing. "Go and sin no more." I've never heard a judge say that, but wouldn't it be fun to clear out a courtroom of defendants that way?


What about the civil cases? County court at law judges don't do divorces normally or injuctions, so that would save a lot of other unpleasantness. There are a fair share of car wreck cases. I believe my knowledge of insurance companies (contempt? disdain? scorn?) would make me especially "fair," in these cases.


This may not be so much a platform as a prediction of how things will go. Naturally, I would not bet on a second term or even surviving the first.


More likely, I'll make a bunch of push cards that say, "Experience, Integrity, Fairness," or "Justice for All," or "Character You Can Trust."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

On the other hand, the Cameron County magistrate slot might be a better fit: they let everyone free through that infamous pre-trial diversion program.

Anonymous said...

You need a bailiff named Bull a prosecuting attorney that's a womanizer and an amply buxom defense attorney.

If at first you don't succeed...

Vote for Joe "NO BULL" Durham errr I meant Ed "CRAZY HORSE" Stapleton that has a nice ring to it doesn't it.

GI JOE

Dan S. Boyd said...

If you run, this blog may become an issue.

I like the title stuff. I learned more about the etiquette of it in Austin, where it is practiced very seriously. [I assume D.C. practices it even more seriously, but I have not been there much] For instance, anyone who is or ever was either the governor or lieutenant governor is permanently entitled to be called "Governor." About a year ago, I was in a meeting in New York City, and Ben Barnes was there; I addressed him as "Governor"; he radiated appreciation. Everyone else there looked at me like I was crazy.

Anyone who is or ever was attorney general is entitled to be called "General" for life. I always called John Hill "General" in person, but then he became Chief Justice of the Texas Supreme Court. Then he was entitled to be called "Judge" for life, or maybe even "Chief"--I'm not sure. I didn't know what he preferred, so I just kept calling him "General"--don't know if that was an offense or what.

Anyone who is or ever has been a state or U. S. Senator is entitled to be called "Senator" forever. I have found that when I call long retired state senators by their title, they are very pleased because so few are competent at this etiquette outside of Austin.

But if Kay Bailey Hutchison wins the governorship, after she is retired, what should we call her?

These are the questions that tax the minds of men of honor.